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Grandpa

Grandpa went home to be with Jesus on Thursday, November 20th. God blessed us with a wonderful  time of celebrating his life and legacy during the week of Thanksgiving. Memories were made that will last a lifetime. Below are some words I scribbled about forty-eight hours before he passed.

Tuesday, November 18, 2014 12:30PM

I'm sitting here on a Tuesday afternoon, taking a lunch break. I grabbed Culvers' deal of the day, which means I'm chowing down a cheddar butterburger and fries and a Dr. Pepper. Far from my normal healthy lunch but sometimes life happens and you're up late weeping the night before and don't get out of bed in time to pack a lunch.

As I sit here typing, my grandfather is slowly taking his final breaths in his earthly body. It rips my heart out to not be able to be there with him and my grandma. These are the times I want to curse all the hundreds of miles between us. All I can do is pray until I don't know what to pray anymore.

Even as the tears flow and my heart aches, there is such tremendous joy and peace we all have. Amidst our mourning, our hearts rejoice for Grandpa's sake. His pain, his suffering, his confusion: it's almost over. OVER! FOREVER! Jesus is waiting to welcome him home with arms wide open. Soon he will hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." He will have no more tears.

This amazing man of God is finishing his race and he is finishing it well. The legacy he leaves behind for his children and grandchildren and great grandchildren is incredible. He has wholeheartedly followed his Savior and been an example to each of us.

Grandpa loved to laugh. He loved to crack jokes. He loved to poke fun. The mischievous sparkle in his eye is one of my favorite memories (maybe that's where I got my own mischievous look from?).  His whole life, he has just been there -- for all of us. He and Grandma would drive hours and hours, just to be at a recital or movie shoot or graduation or some other special event in the lives of their children or grandchildren. It didn't matter how inconvenient, how many hours on the road, how many gallons of gas: they were there. 

I was telling my sister-in-law last night...one of my most vivid and happy memories of him is so simple it seems silly. But it stands out so brightly in my mind. I was a teenager and he and Grandma were leaving our house in their motorhome. He had the window down and was smiling from ear to ear and waving. He looked so happy. I ran down and gave him one last peck on the cheek before they pulled out of the driveway. It's a moment I'll cherish for years and years to come. 

The gratitude to our God for the memories and heritage He gave us through my grandpa is ginormous. We are blessed beyond measure. Even as we weep right now, we know joy is coming in the morning: for Grandpa and for us. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our God is walking him through this valley of the shadow of death.

And I am just so incredibly thankful amidst my tears. 

Colorado

This was written in July. Yup, five months ago. And I never hit "Publish". So here it is in all of it's barely edited glory, with a lovely abrupt ending. 

It’s ten o’clock on a Friday night and I’m bravely warily cracking open my MacBook to plunk out some words for the first time in months.

Interstate is flying by as I type. We are somewhere in Nebraska. Packed into a fifteen passenger van with most of my siblings, my parents, my nephew, and all our crap luggage, the wind is whipping in my face as my brother drives us safely down the interstate. No air conditioning in a van this large on a trip this long may sound like a recipe for disaster. I am amazingly blessed to be able to say it has gone more smoothly than I ever imagined it would and we are actually enjoying the road trip (mostly).  The whole windows open at 75mph thing does make for some crazy windblown hair though, I must say.

We are driving through the night back from an incredible week in Colorado. How to put the beauty and heart connections with those I love into words seems impossible. Thankfully I have hundreds of pictures to do some of the talking for me.

(I won’t post all of them. Pinky promise.)

Now that I just spent an hour going through the pictures from iPhone, I return to this attempt at writing.

Getting away for over a week cleared my head a bit.

I’m dreaming a little bit more.

I’m worshipping my God with a bigger heart.

And I’m reminded of so many little life lessons…  

…the need for more than five hours of sleep at night (seriously, life doesn’t have to be so frigging busy)

…to slow down (repeat sentence above)

…to not get caught up in the day-to-day crap of life (repeat again)

…to memorize the little moments and imprint them on my brain…

…the feeling of my six-month-old nephew holding my hand while he sleeps in his car seat on our eighteen hour drive

…the absolutely breathtaking beauty of the mountains (pictures just cannot do it justice)

…splitting cupcakes from the cupcake shop in downtown Parker

…laughing til’ my sides hurt while playing Balderdash with family until 10:30pm

…delicious meals shared around the fire on the deck with siblings and parents and cousins and aunts and uncles

…walks and hikes through stunning beauty surrounded by twenty-some family members (beyond precious)

…snuggling my sleeping nephew while riding the shuttle through Rocky Mountain National Park

…driving through the foothills by Fort Collins

…watching my cousin marry her best friend

…the kinks in my neck and back from sleeping in the van all night (seriously, it makes for good memories, guys)

…climbing a canyon while watching lightening in the distance

…watching my  “little” brother fix some car problems in the middle of the mountains (and enjoying the extra time to stretch my legs)

…sharing a room with my baby sister for a week (sorta like a slumber party every night…except I’m too old to stay up and have much fun that many nights in a row)

…the thud of my heart when watching my brothers climb on rocks in the mountains and canyons

…throwing snowballs at siblings and cousins in July 

…the countless minutes setting up (huge) family photos

…chatting with random strangers at rest stops and gas stations and grocery stores (“I thought your shirt said ‘kissed by a slug’!)

 It is now Sunday morning and I'm laying on my deck back here in Wisconsin. The breeze is blowing, Spotify is playing, my dog is laying on the deck next to me.

We survived our twenty-four hour trip. We survived our first gulps of the insane humidity of our homestate. We survived swatting those first few mosquitos at the Wisconsin welcome center (ironic, yes?).

(For the record, I do love my home state.)

I smothered my dog in hugs and kisses and she smothered me right back (sheer happiness on both sides).

A bottle of wine was cracked open and several hours were spent with my roomies. They enjoyed a few too many laughs at my expense (apparently I become hysterically amusing after a twenty-four hour roadtrip and next to no sleep). A short walk and stop at the park was made (more entertainment). We caught a few more episodes of the household TV show (any Longmire fans out there?).

My room is covered with stuff. It's in the state of, Naomi-needed-to-grab-a-few-things-but-had-no-energy-to-unpack-or-put-anything-away-so-it's-all-just-puked-all-over-her-room. (I'm headed inside to remedy the situation in a little while.)

I may be headed into the house sooner than I planned if the big rumble of thunder I just heard is any indication. My dog is going crazy so I should probably let her inside so she can crawl in a corner of the basement (thunderstorms are scary, folks). She is now whining in my ear like she's going to die.