Friday, August 17, 2012

Inside, Outside, Upside Down

August 17, 2012: This post was written on August 5th. Just now finished it and got the pictures uploaded.

Some of my favorite books when I was a little girl were the Berenstain Bears books. I loved them.  Probably the one I remember the most, is the one pictured above. And when I set out to write this blog post (weeks ago), the title of the book popped into my head; because really, it describes my whole year. 

God has turned me inside, outside, and upside down.

Over and over and over.

It's like this book on repeat. 

A difference, however, is that God hasn't put me in a box. He's given me more freedom than that. He gives me choices and decisions and opportunities, even as He allows me to be tossed inside, outside, and upside down.

The ride hasn't been easy. I have bruises, scars, and a different body as daily evidence.  And more tears added to God's bottle than I care to ever count!

The month of July was crazy. As most of you know, I moved. As most of you who know me well know, it was an insanely emotional change. Most details are too personal to post publicly but I'll put it this way: moving out of a beautiful country home where many of my best friends live (aka, my incredible family & my amazing golden retriever) and into a condo in town with an elderly woman with dementia who doesn't necessarily want me here is well, in a word, hard.

When I started this blog post (the first week after I moved), I was feeling completely inside, outside, and upside down.  I was a mess. In a way I'm glad I never got the post written then. Sometimes it's better that the emotional babbling be left to me and my closest friends. I'm thankful that several weeks later, I am not quite so emotionally inside, outside, and upside down. It still feels like my life in general is; and I definitely still have my days. But it's encouraging to see the progress made.

I am very grateful to say my health has improved tremendously for the time-being. This is my last week on Prednisone and I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to be almost completely weaned off of it. It is so nasty. I'm also grateful that the weight gain was more like five pounds instead of twenty this time around! It's the little things, folks. I had a Remicade infusion on Wednesday and it went the best it has ever gone; praise GOD! The horrendous pain that I normally get the evening after the infusion never came in full strength; I am beyond thankful.  I've started working out again and joined the YMCA. Enjoying the sweat & muscle burning and the extra time with my sister-in-law when we carpool & workout together!

There is still a crazy long journey ahead of me with this disease. But I am thankful for grace and strength for one day, week, and month at a time. Thinking beyond that is too overwhelming!

There have been lots of fun times the past month as well...Brewers' game, mini golf, going out to movies & for coffee, lunch, dinner, & ice cream, bowling, walks, softball, shopping, and more. Just a side note: see why I needed to join the Y? ;) I need to work off some of those good times! Anyway, below are a few pictures....just a glimpse of the many, many, many blessings this past month.

I was so crazy excited for the Brewers game that I was ready early...and tried to make the time go faster by taken self portraits ;)

Love this little guy so much!!!


We were sitting right next to Ryan Braun. Way fun!

Love watching these two teenagers be friends!




Went to see Dark Knight Rises for a second time with Lydia!


I don't bowl like this. I was stretching. Or something.

Loved the disco lights!



Sisters again!


He wanted his final throw/roll to be done like this!


  1. loved the title and comparison of this post! One of my fav. books too:) Also had a ton of fun looking at the pics. good times!Love and praying for you sister! miss u!

  2. p.s.
    Josiah you crack me up! interesting technique...

  3. LOVE all these pics!
    susie gusie