Tuesday, December 6, 2011



I'm thinking a lot right now about simple, daily LIFE.  

My thoughts mostly include all the random, miscellaneous, varied, weird, mundane, routine things that LIFE includes. 

One of the first things that pops into my head when I think of my current daily life is pain.  It's a fact I can't pretend doesn't exist.  It's with me almost every waking moment.  It wakes me up at night. Sometimes it's worse than other times.  There are the nights it's so severe I can't breathe.  There are the handful of nights I'm hyperventilating, shaking from head to toe, and crying harder than I thought possible.

I'm so blessed that those worst of nights come very infrequently.  I am so, so thankful for that.

I'm also more thankful than I could ever express for my family during nights like that.  I can't imagine being alone when I can barely breathe.

I experience so much love through the pain.  

The prayers of my dad.  

The arms of my mom.  

The sweet ten-year-old baby sister who holds my hand.  

The sixteen-year-old sister running for a medical book when I'm trying to figure what the HECK could be causing such-and-such pain.  

The seventeen-year-old brother doing so many strenuous jobs for me when I just physically can. not. do. it. 

My family is so precious to me.

I'm also incredibly thankful that God hasn't allowed the pain to suck the LIFE part of life out of me.  I still LOVE to have FUN.  I'm the craziest member of my family.  I love to laugh.  I love to hang out with friends.  He's given me a love for helping people.  He's given me a love to bake, play with my golden retriever, play sports when I'm physically able, work super hard and get super dirty, travel, work as a doula, cruise in my car, dance to music, throw on some heels and clomp around the city, throw on old cruddy clothes and paint rooms...I could go on and on.  God is so very gracious and so very good.

Okay. Where was I.  Oh yes...daily life.

This December's days are filled with... 

...going to work

...going to physical therapy

...going to Christmas carol sings and concerts

...preparing for two upcoming births that I'll be doula-ing

...wrapping Christmas gifts

...searching for truth regarding some circumstances and relationships

...shipping presents to those I love who live out of state

...listening to Christmas music

...looking at all the twinkling lights (I. love. Christmas. lights. so. much.)

...and really just a lot of trying to slow down and enjoy this holiday season and keep perspective on WHY we celebrate this Christmas season.  

Of course there is the cooking and the cleaning and the dog feeding and the exercising and the daily supplement taking and email writing and facebook checking and twitter tweeting and pinterest pinning and TV show watching and Bible reading and journal writing and board/card game playing and friend texting and book reading and on and on and on.

I have yet to live a day where "bored" even enters my mind.  And I'm so thankful for that.

Sometimes it feels like life will never change.  That relationships will never improve.  That hurts will never heal.  That the daily mundane task will never end.  That pain will never go away.

But a look at the Scriptures and a few minutes of writing in my gratitude journal puts life in perspective.  God's got a perfect plan that only He can work out in His time.  My "job" is to trust, persevere, choose joy, lean on Him, and enjoy the ride.  It's been one heck of a roller coaster but I'm so glad He's at the controls.

Here's to LIFE...and life abundant!

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