Monday, February 20, 2012

My heart's desire

After another rough night of not enough sleep, I only had time to read a quick Psalm and Streams in the Desert this morning before getting ready for my first day back at work in two and a half weeks.  In my sleepy state, I "accidentally" read Psalm 21 instead of Psalm 20 like I was intending.  God used my sleepiness to have me read exactly what I needed.  

When I read the above verse, it was like a light bulb went on in my (sleepy) head.  These trials, the pain of the past few weeks (months), it's all been His answer to my prayer to know Him more; to love Him more; to desire Him more; to see more of His heart.  The sleepless nights have turned into heart-to-hearts with Him that I never would've had otherwise.  The intolerable pain put me literally on my face in tears and agony before His feet.  He met me there.  He met me in a way I've never known before and I will never be the same.

In the future I will share more about this journey in my relationship with Christ.  Those closest to me know the challenges my walk with Him has held.  They know the amazing victory He has won in my heart over the last couple weeks.  They've walked with me each step of the way, loving me, and pointing me to our Savior.  I can never thank them enough or thank God enough for loving me through them.

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