Wednesday, February 1, 2012

When God Shows Up

God is with us ALL the time.  I know that in my head.  And I know that in my heart.  But I don't always feel it; especially when life gets dark.

On the flip side, I have seen God so many times during the dark periods of life.  He has a way of showing up when life looks hopeless; of showing love when life is full of pain - whether it be physical, emotional, relational, or spiritual.  

Sometimes His love is so practical: friends bringing meals, a note in the mail, an act of kindness from a sibling, a text message or Facebook note at just the right moment.

And sometimes His love shows up through "bigger" answers or gifts.  The most recent example for me is my mom seriously having a miraculous overnight turn around in her recovery from her wrist surgery.  Friday things were still awful and NONE of us could imagine her being able to attend my sister's violin recital or my brothers' basketball games.  Saturday?  She was up and able to attend all the events.  Sure, she had her sling, pillow, ice packs, etc.  But she was THERE.  Thank You, God.

His wisdom is showing up the past few days as well.  He has surrounded me with the best group of friends and family in the world.  The support they give is incredible.  In the friends department, I feel like the most blessed girl alive.  I've been talking with those closest to me about the decisions to be made and they're all pretty much giving me the same advice.  Their prayers are doing wonders too.  God's plans for this Crohn's journey are so different than mine; SO different.  And that's a good thing.  The faith growing is something that can't be traded for anything. Faith doesn't grow much without suffering.  I'm truly grateful for the pain and how He is using it in my life.  (Don't remind me I said this when I'm in the middle of a pain attack though or else YOU will be feeling some pain.  I give a good slap, folks.)

I'm also thinking about all the ways my faith still needs to grow.  In a message to a friend recently, I wrote that if it was "only" the physical pain, God would get a lot less of an earful from me some days.  There are other things going on that very few know about and even fewer understand.  Things that hurt so deep and are so tangled that putting it into words is often not possible.  It's these issues that test my faith even more than my physical pain and suffering.  These are the things that make me question God's goodness and plan.  I know He has a good one; it just does not humanly make sense. Trusting God with the hurt and tears is a continual process.  Trusting His plan is a daily choice.

"'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are My ways,' declares the LORD.  'As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.'"

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." (Isaiah 55:8-9, 12)

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